Tips for dating a recovering alcoholic
As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.
When PIRs do a personal inventory, they list the things--their thoughts, feelings, character traits, and behaviors--that stand in the way of recovery and those personal strengths that can help in recovery.
When they were drinking and using, they may have grown used to doing whatever it took to cover up, excuse, or engage in their addictive behavior.
If you sense (or know) this is the case with your PIR, it's good to give them some space and lots of tender support and encouragement, remembering that you can't be their therapist, but you can be their friend. Nagy is a college professor, actor, and songwriter.This category also gets the PIR thinking about how they were inconsiderate with their partner, how they might have been jealous or suspicious, or how they might have cheated on their partner.Paul told me that, for him, the easiest part was to remember and list all the people he had harmed.And I certainly didn't know that, as someone in a relationship with a PIR, it would have been good for me to do these Steps as well.Now I've discovered that these "relationship" Steps are a balanced, healthy way even for non-PIRs to examine their own selves and their relationships with others.